Between Smokes And Bones

            It lights up burning hot. Glowing with blood, orange, and tinge of yellow, from one side to the other. Slowly piercing at the deeper surface. Cauterizing and showing off the tainted flesh. Flaring between smokes and bones. I inhale sharply the stench of fervor, and the tang of wildness until they burn a sickness in my throat making me choke, and breathing in the smoke soon again.

            Every burn and every sting builds inside until it's deepening into my stomach like boulders and catches fire on its emptiness causing me to choke again. It's a never ending cycle of pain until I'm marred and breaks into ashes.  

           

            I am not like the others. I am burning in hell, the hell of myself. Sometimes it's strickening but more often it's thrilling. I had that kind of fire that kept my demons warm. Fire is uncool and relapses don't give comfort, yeah. But you know the rad thing about fire? It spreads incredibly and sometimes like a flash I was ashes before I even knew I was burning. Be that as it may but everything will reflex again just before the first sight of the glow in the dawn

            My veins are made up of fuel and my skin is a collection of inanimate ashes. It was the darkness that beckoned me into the depths and tricked me into jumping. But then, it was a familiar ground underneath that gives the sense of belonging found nowhere else. It was a let loose but a beautiful disaster.

"Burn me to ground,

Shatter me into parts,

Tear me in pieces.

But love me,

Love me at my worst,

Love me at my darkest."

            They say 'don't play with fire, but moths are stubborn and they love fire. That's when I watched the glowing sky in your eyes and saw this flash behind them, and understood what you meant the night before, about the insanity that had occupied you. You're not so far gone as to be lost, but you're so close in getting there.

            I knew this will come and before you realize, I had already turned my back on you and  had started to flee. But whether I wanted to or not, I already anchored you into my world until you know nothing anymore but the existence of me. You  had followed me, you chased me into the darkness, oh yes, and it had driven you into the edge.

            You're a pyromaniac and I was your fire. You see my flames as beauty and the heat as your comfort and warmth. Though it's not what it seems, but desire sends you to oblivion. Seduced by the danger, you lit the fire and I helped it burn. We fell into the trap and I lit up too soon and turned into a burning fire. It's brittle and sharp. I can't suppress that I am burning, burning for you. Every time you  respire, I just flicker even more and spark. I am burning too bright. Not just a fire, but a fiery.

            We closed our eyes and together, we danced in a burning room. The universe is a never-ending abyss and this is our small infinity. It seems forever but when I looked back at you,  I only saw a fire staring back at me. It's both sweet and painful, but no, it was more of painful, painful because I know we are not of the same kind.

            It's painful to watch you combust, to see you scorched into pieces. Until you crumble into ruins, leaving my mouth tasting ashes, and left me with the cinders that  glittered all over me. The effect was the cause.

            With you I am fire, I am radiant. A brilliant spark set off by you. You're like the air, I am alive and bright even more every time I draw closer into you. But without you, I am cold. I am void. Lost in solitude and dead as the foliage in wilderness.

            Nothingness is with the same kind of death. Thusly, I just crawl deeper into the darkness and burn myself in the void with an everlasting fire. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we want it to be so, sometimes there is no such thing as forever.

            This is my ending. This is how I burn.